I have fought so many battles with myself over time that I can't remember the beginning. I don't remember what innocence, naivety and dreams with wide wings are. You look at me. You smile at me and tell me I'm beautiful. Fixed as they are.
It's the first time I'm sorry I'm leaving. It is the first time I will miss you, I will miss me as I am next to you, I will miss you when you are next to me. You are my house that I have to abandon in ruins. And when you think I was getting ready to change furniture. Now I just have to change places.
I wanted to be happy. Until another one, I just had to be strong. Apparently that's all the pride offered me. So is indifference. Happiness is still waiting and I don't know what other name it has. I was your weakness, you were my breath even more than that. We looked at each other. No unnecessary conversations, no impulse messages, no knocking on the door at night, no common future. I wrote you whole pages, I exhausted my soul in countless white pages. Now it's just me. Empty and soulless.
You led me slowly to the memory of what I was. I was looking in the mirror. You had turned me into a woman. A woman who knew what she wanted, who knew how to get anything, but not from you. You had transformed me so much that I was able to leave. You had transformed me so much that others were afraid. They were afraid because I didn't need anyone.
