Can you hear the earth collapsing? So complete silence that I hear pieces of my soul falling in the past. I sit at the table with the devil and negotiate what's left. Hard decision. Should I sell my last pieces or recover everything? Mistakes paid with years of life, memories that disturb the present and people who should remain in a blurred setting.
We sat quietly at the table. A hard night is coming. I thought I had a life to finish this negotiation. I realize I'm under pressure. He looks intensely, I smile so much that he doesn't panic. I light a cigarette and drink from a glass, looking at it under my eyelashes. He lights a cigarette and asks me what I want. She knows all too well that I'm cornered now. Not even my soul knows what it wants, I only know what I wanted. But now it's not like then. Time passes, desires change, demands increase.
I take off my heels, take off my dress and lie down on the table. At least let's have a fair negotiation. I look at him intently as I light a cigarette.
-What are you willing to offer?
-How much are you willing to pay?
-Nothing.
-Where is the negotiation?
-Don't you see we're not negotiating? I am selling your soul in exchange for happiness.
-What is happiness?
-How do I know? You give it to me.
-Give up with what you are.
-If I knew what they were.
I get up slightly and touch your lips. I run into your arms and you read the promise in my eyes. You know I'm not going to be happy, you know you're not going to let me be. You want me to be just yours, and you, my dear, can no longer bring a smile to my face. All you can do now is warm my body at midnight, whisper to me that you love me, and at sunrise to continue our lives in a harder reality than we deserve.
I like to wipe the lipstick off my lips, I like to touch my body as if it belonged to you and I like to become a story again in the morning. Memories pass before your eyes. I was queen in your hell until I got bored. I left, leaving the echo behind to keep you ugly. It wasn't enough.
-You're just mine.
-I was yours.
-Come home.
-I'm home. Chaos is at home for me. You taught me to live like this and I learned to do it with a smile on my face. Now I fit anywhere. Love me today and forget me tomorrow. The devil doesn't need a queen, and I do very well living in a future where you don't exist.
-Was it hard for you? To leave?
-Not as hard as it was for me to stay. But there is no point in looking at the past. Nothing has changed there.
You knew very well that we had many nights lost in two. You knew that your body and soul belonged to you, and you knew that you had lost me somewhere between past and future. You knew I would only be yours in pieces. You knew that my soul no longer belonged to anyone and you knew that all you could have now was the illusion of a night of happiness. Your hell was empty, my soul alone and my memory alive.
