- Do you still miss him?
-It was for me… I think it passed. It's just the right choice at the wrong time… Sometimes the mind gives a replay as if the heart still feels…
-I can not understand you…
-Obviously not my dear. And I wouldn't want to either. You know, emotions have to be brutal. To love until you lose your head, to like it until the earth escapes from under your feet, to suffer until you feel that you have no more breath. Who the hell hurts a story that after a while he doesn't remember? I want a man who can make history and become a story. That's why I'm looking for them as flawed as me.
-Didn't he scare you? Everything you've been through?
-Oooo no! How to scare me? By him? Never. The story? Not even! Why did he come after? Damn it. That's the idea. I lost myself looking for him. No sleep, no tears because I don't even care anymore. That just scared me. But we have reached the point where even the clock is useless. It's too late.
-Would you like him to come back?
-… It's tough. People always leave. They leave you in pieces and when you feel better they tend to come back. The problem is that leaving for them will be the solution to any problem. You know, it hurts when you see a man slam the door behind him, it's just as hard to tell him a story and the hardest part is not knowing what to do. It's about the same with these departures. You long for paradise and wake up at the end of hell.
-How do you choose the moments?
-I don't choose moments, my dear, I choose people. You remember the moments after the whole movie is over. It's like a replay in your own mind. You remember how you guessed his smile in the middle of the night when you smoked a cigarette, you remember how he smiled in the morning, you remember how slowly he closed the button of his shirt, you remember how he held one hand on the steering wheel and the other on your knee, you remember how you both shared the same glass of wine and how he would catch the sunset talking and you remember that he drank black coffee without sugar, you always whitened it with milk and sweetened it with sugar… And besides all this you remember how it includes the jaw when not- He liked something, but he said it well and moved on. You also remember that an argument didn't make sense, because it only made smiles. Tears always come to an end. People always ruin everything that is beautiful.
-How do you know when to quit?
-Of… Sometimes I wonder if I know how to do this. However, I do not give up as long as something can be done. I don't give up as long as I feel, I don't give up until time wipes my soul completely, I don't give up as long as I still remember his voice, I don't give up as long as I remember his smell and smile… When everything disappears, when I don't throw looking back, when I have no reason to wait, when his absence makes me run away then I leave. On heels, stepping on and smiling. I leave knowing that I gave everything and not even the sky could have changed anything.
-You are a story…
-And my life is a fairy tale. I stood in the gates of heaven and made my way back to hell. I sat in the devil's arms, smoked a cigarette smiling and then left. He felt more present than ever and now he feels my absence. I took the warmth of hell in the twinkling of an eye and left, forgetting that I once shared the same story
