and you brought me in your arms… you don't have to cry, you told me, I'm here now, and I'm with you… but I didn't obey, I struggled to run, to run away from you , to forget everything that was, to know nothing… and then you took my arms and squeezed them with the grip of your arms, then you held them with a secure hand and you said to me, forget- come to me..I didn't want to, I kept my eyes closed, I was upset, I didn't want to know about you anymore… with the rest of your body you were trying to keep me calm, but I still wanted to run away, so you forced me to stay again… with your free hand you took my mouth and kissed me so closed, pressed, I smiled angrily and I didn't answer you… you probably thought I was a wild cat struggling when it was caught, that's how I struggled and not I wanted to give in… with my lips you started to open my lips with force, then I felt your teeth biting me, I turned my head and I didn't want your kiss to fall on my cheeks, on my temples anywhere… I didn't feel anything erotic, I just felt like I don't want to give up…
then
something stirred in you, maybe a demon, maybe the desire to end this state of tension… .you brutally threw me on the bed and told me..you will pray to me and I will not do it, and when I looked at you contemptuously you started to break everything off me… I couldn't believe it, were you the same man? with one hand you broke the blouse first, then I don't know the rest when it disappeared, I only know how I heard that noise to break and it hurt as if I was beaten… I started to cry slowly, as if I wanted to calm down alone, because I was alone, there was no tenderness in what we were doing, it was just something violent… I tried to cover myself but you held my hands again… and I heard you undress in turn… then I felt how you let go and how I you were punching with your sex… I wasn't ready, and when you came in I screamed but that didn't stop you… you came in and you didn't move, staring at me with your arms as if I had been crucified on the bed… ” I told you to stay calm and you didn't want to ”… I didn't answer you… I could feel the tears running down my cheeks just..you bent down and tasted them and whispered to me ..” passed, ready , I'm here, why do you want promises why do you want to promise us what we can't give ourselves? we can only give ourselves the present moment..so much… and live it with intensity ”… I didn't answer… it stung me the way you were in me… I stared a little begging you without words to get out… but you stayed, continuing to you talk to me… ”you…” you then told me your name… ”you can give so much… and you can receive so much..why don't forget everything you learned why don't you just let yourself feel remorse, without inhibitions as I know you can? why don't you admit that you even like the fact that now you are possessed in this way because I… I am here for you, as you are for me… ”
… And I stopped the pain..I told her, you stayed with me too long… you can leave now… I watched you caress me with love and suddenly I felt you enter easier, deeper, closer… I I moved my hips and pulled you towards me… the pain and sadness had strangely increased my desire ..which I was starting to feel only then in all its power… you smiled somehow… I told you that you will ask, that you will beg you to be my slave today
So I asked you: what do you want from me today, my dear?
… Stop suffering, you said… .and I turned over you and possessed you with power, driving away from me all the evil all the pain and jealousy and in those moments only you and I were on the ground, me and you and all that mattered was our passion, our bodies and our captive souls…
and we both screamed once and collapsed exhausted and my eyes weren't sad when I fell asleep.
