Sweet words cost nothing. Illusions sold to naive people are the most expensive dreams. Like a drug addict who always takes his dose, you made your way to me every time waiting for a word. I could see hope on your face, I could feel your love and I could feel how it hurt.
You decided to love me, you promised to do it and you kept your word. When I left your life you understood what kind of tornado I had been. You understand that women like me do not find their place easily. I was not made to live in your heaven. I needed the warmth of hell, I needed to tame your demons one by one, teach you your weaknesses and then leave as if nothing had happened.
You hoped I would change. You closed your eyes when I told you that people don't change. You smiled at me and said that those present are excluded. You were hoping with all your heart that I would do it. My dear, I was not going to change. I just liked to test your limits. I wanted to see how much you could dream, I really wanted to make you suffer because that made me feel alive.
I liked to dissect you, to torment your mind with questions, to upset you. It was like we were playing hide and seek. You never knew where I would be. Today I was smiling at you and then we disappeared in the fog for two weeks. You were the one who saw me in tens of thousands of ways: naive, smiling, dreamy, cold, indifferent, ready to leave, tempted to stay.
I knew it wasn't right what I was doing. You paid for the mistakes of the past. You paid for my shattered dreams, you dreamed for my ruined castle. Ruins that I don't even remember where they are placed. The role of princess didn't seem right to me. I became an architect. I started building the castles of the others and in the end I was building the doors. We let them rot in their ivory towers because I didn't have one. My castle had no towers, no marble, no open door. My castle had been dusted many years ago.
You wanted to give me the universe, forgetting that I already had one you weren't part of. You were preparing for a fairy tale with a happy ending and I was arming myself for a war. A silent war you had no idea about. A war with only one winner, a winner who unfortunately wasn't you.
